The Past Is No Longer the Place I Choose to Live

The past has a way of coloring how we see people. We think we’re being present, but we’re often still interacting with a version of someone that doesn’t exist anymore. We carry memories like reference points. We assume that who someone used to be is who they still are. And without realizing it, we expect them to keep proving the story we’ve already decided about them.

This creates tension. It keeps relationships stuck. It blocks what could unfold now.

We do this to ourselves, too. It’s easy to judge who we were, to replay old choices, to see ourselves through a lens that doesn’t reflect the truth of who we’ve become. Even when we’ve grown, we can still carry shame or guilt for the version of us that didn’t know better, yet.

But that version is gone. You are here. And this is the only moment that creates what comes next.

When you hold someone in the past, the energy between you stays frozen. The story you believe about them shapes what you’re open to receiving. You might say you want things to be different, but if your belief hasn’t shifted, then the dynamic won’t either.

Letting go of who someone used to be doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means you’re choosing to believe in what’s possible now. You’re letting this moment speak more clearly than the one that came before.

It’s easy to expect others to see how much we’ve changed. But that same grace has to be extended outward. If we want people to meet us with fresh eyes, we have to be willing to do the same. That doesn’t require reentering the relationship. It simply asks for openness in the field—an energetic message that says, “I’m no longer holding you in that version.”

That message is powerful. It shifts what’s possible. It allows someone to respond to your current frequency, rather than the emotional residue from years ago.

Every time you replay an argument, criticize someone in your mind, or focus on what they’re still doing wrong, you’re reinforcing that version of them within your own field. When you dwell in that internal version, you begin to attract it. You’re not just thinking about it—you’re living inside the energy of it. Then they show up, and you say, “See? They haven’t changed.” But you never gave them the space to.

This is a different kind of creation work.

Instead of replaying what happened, imagine what’s possible. Instead of reinforcing who someone was, be open to who they could be. Imagine the version of them you want to meet—calm, kind, grounded, honest—and feel what it’s like to connect from that place.

You’re not doing this to change them. You’re doing it to change your frequency. Because what you carry in your field becomes the invitation. What you hold as true becomes the tone of the relationship.

Think about someone you’ve been holding in an old role. Ask yourself honestly:

What do I believe about them now? Am I willing to see them in a new light? Do I still expect the version that hurt me—or am I open to the version that’s growing?

People evolve. Sometimes in ways we prefer. Sometimes in ways we don’t. Either way, they are not the same.

Neither are you.

This shift begins within you. It starts by releasing the lens of who they were and choosing a belief that aligns with the present. You don’t have to tell them. You don’t have to take action. This work is energetic first. It begins in your awareness and ripples outward from there.

Every moment is an invitation to believe something new. When you choose to see others through the eyes of presence, you give them space to meet you there. And even if they don’t, your energy is clean. Your field is clear. You’ve stepped into alignment.

Healing begins when you see with fresh eyes. The future responds to what you believe right now. You create freedom the moment you choose to release the past.

If this message speaks to something you’ve been walking through, I invite you to join us for The Way of the I AM: Community Gathering—a free weekly space where we return to Presence, Truth, and the power of conscious creation.

We meet every Sunday at 10:00 AM PST on Zoom. Come as you are. Bring your whole self. Let the old stories fall away.

🌀 Join us here → https://www.thewayoftheiam.com/events